“With all that’s happening in the world, most of us are feeling stressed, anxious or afraid – or some combination of them. Knowing the difference,” says Leslie Becker-Phelps psychologist, “can help you cope better”.
First – since we’re in this for the long-haul, say economic and medical experts, it’s more important, than ever, to be mindful of your mental health. Unfortunately anxiety and stress can wear you down quickly – keeping you from performing even simple, daily tasks not to mention performing tasks which help you find a job, get the next interview – care for your family.
All 3 of these things, says Becker-Phelps, overlap and are psychologically similar – tension in your body, heart racing. With stress or fear your symptoms will likely pass once the threat has passed. Anxiety, however, can last far longer since it’s not directly linked to external causes. Plus, if you feel afraid of your anxious response, the anxiety can last a longer time.
In fact stress is so common, psychiatrists and psychologists say – such an integral part of most of our lives – a person may not always realize when they’re suffering from it.
“Anxiety and fear are the names of the game, right now, when it comes to job security” says Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the N.Y. Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine. “There’s real uncertainty”, says Saltz. “It’s very difficult to lose your job. And, if you do, how will you get another job in the current situation?”
That said – your body can produce both mental and physical signs of stress you should be aware of:
* Physical changes – can’t sleep well, loss of appetite, weight loss are a few.
* Emotional Issues – Your emotional state is very closely related to your level of stress. You might feel overwhelmed; feel you’ve lost control. You find you can no longer deal with others; can’t quiet your mind’s racing thoughts.
* Behavioral Changes. Turning to drugs to cover up negative emotions; smoking too much; drinking more heavily, for example.
* Cognitive and Mental Symptoms. Racing thoughts, poor judgment and decision-making; non-stop worrying and anxiety, inability to focus on tasks.
If you’re constantly asking yourself questions like when will the pandemic end, when will the job market open so I can get a job, you’re not alone – most without a job, or on the verge of losing their job – are asking themselves the same questions.
While loss of a job – first and foremost – means the loss of a paycheck and financial stability – it also brings with it a loss of purpose. “With work we feel a greater sense of self esteem, advocacy and sense of purpose,” says Brittany LeMonda, a senior neuropsychologist at Lennox Hill Hospital in New York City. “It’s a way of staying connected to others. So job loss has a huge impact on several fronts.”
What can you do when stress and anxiety are overwhelming you – prohibiting you from such things as job searching, organizing for your next interview – preparing for your future, for example?
1) Neuropsychologist Brittany LeMonda suggests –
When anxious thoughts arise make a statement to yourself such as “Well of course I have worries; this is a difficult situation”. A simple statement; however in telling yourself this you are more likely to encourage anxiety to recede, she tells us. You won’t entirely eliminate the anxiety, LeMonda says, but it will slowly cease to be “smack in the middle of your dashboard”.
Note – Regardless if it’s a coworker, former boss or simply a friend, beware of speaking those negative thoughts aloud to others. Also – don’t let negative words filter into your Resume, a Cover Letter, your LinkedIn Profile or into communications with your L.I. connections.
2) Physical activity is important; especially when you’re stuck at home.
“All forms of exercise, including yoga and walking, can ease depression and anxiety by helping the brain release feel-good chemicals and by giving your body a chance to practice dealing with stress” say the docs at WebMd .
Set times, throughout the day, when you set put aside job searching and other work, to get up and walk; or set a specific time for yoga, exercise, walking the dog, for example. Take your children for a walk or play a game or two with them. Switch it up. Whatever you do must be done periodically, daily, before you’ll begin to control the stress and anxiety which will allow you to better focus on your personal and work goals.
3) Mindfulness.
“Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention to the present. This state encompasses observing one’s thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad,” says Melanie Greenberg PhD. Furthermore, says Greenberg, “Mindfulness is deliberately directing your attention away from autopilot, negative and judgmental thoughts, to be present and connected to whatever is happening in the moment”.
Mindfulness expert Thich Nhat Hanh says:
* Regularly practice breathing exercises.
* Concentrate while you breathe.
* Be aware of your body as you are breathing.
* Release the tension as you breathe.
https://www.mindful.org/five-steps-to-mindfulness/
Mindfulness allows you to center your attention on the now. For example of setting new, measurable job, work or personal goals. To consider or reconsider changing your career. Mindfulness allows you to get clarity on how to bring your next job and life plans to fruition,.
4) Identify who and what may be causing you stress and – if possible – eliminate them from your life.
This isn’t always easy but may be necessary if you want to deal with as little stress and anxiety as possible. It’s more about someone or something which doesn’t need to be quite as involved – or central – to your life. Who or which can make you feel worse on a regular basis with negativity, judgmental comments and drama, for instance. “With stress and fear”, says Becker-Phelps PhD, “it can help to reduce exposure to what’s causing them.”
How to manage them – Tips from Mark Stibich PhD –
* Be Proactive. If it’s a person – and you’ve dealt with this person before, you can probably play the situation out in your head…(In short) decide beforehand how you want to handle this situation.
* Control Your Reaction. A person who doesn’t care, has tremendous power. By taking the power of your response and reaction into your own hands, you not only provide a protective barrier, but you may just take the power away from them. Talk and communicate; but don’t let them control you by triggering unnecessary negative emotions.
* Don’t Dwell. After your encounter – if things went badly, do your best to rectify it/them for the next time you are in that situation. And let it go.
5. Start journaling.
Elizabeth Scott MS tells us journaling allows you to begin exploring thoughts, feelings and events which are surrounding your life. “Journaling”, she says, “as a stress management and self-exploration tool, works best when done consistently; but even sporadic or occasional journaling can be stress relieving.”
When journaling it’s best, Scott says, to write – in detail – about thoughts and feelings related to stressful events as one would discuss topics in therapy, or brainstorm solutions. For example – were you laid off because your skills were no longer up to par; fired because your ability to communicate with other employees was poor; laid off in a cutback?
Journaling allows an individual to clarify their thoughts and feelings; to illuminate an issue; to break it down and analyze what took place in order to better understand the situation to more confidently stride forward.
3 types of journals to consider creating:
* Gratitude Journal – Helps you focus on resources you have rather than complain or ignore those you don’t have. Journaling can help expand your confidence and add joy to your life.
* Emotional Journal – This allows you to explore your responses to various situations, to reframe them. To help you expand on the positive and manage the negative.
* Personal or Career Planning Journal – This allows you to jot down anything which comes to mind which may or can help you reach your goals. You’re better able to keep your mind decluttered, relieve stress, stay more organized and less stressed out. In your Personal or Career Planning Journal you can begin setting down details for the next job you want; your next achievements; personal and work goals, for example. Leadership Expert Mark Murphy tells us – “Writing things down just doesn’t just help you remember, it makes your mind more efficient by helping you focus on the truly important stuff. And your goals should qualify as truly important stuff”.
When you begin recording your stress events in a journal, and describe in detail what was happening at the time, you will likely discover just what brings about certain types of stress. And better able to take action.
Finally:
To begin dealing with your stress and/or anxiety:
First – Identify Stress Triggers
Stress is something everyone deals with, though each person usually has a different level of it. In order to end yours, determine what’s causing it. This could be anything from situations and people to events. Once you’ve taken stock of them, do your best to eliminate them.
Second – Consider Any Physical Changes
Your body may also be showing signs of stress; though you may not realize it. For example, after dealing with a certain person, do you tend to experience a terrible headache or muscle tension? You have an upcoming interview and you become stressed out and anxiety ridden the moment you’re notified. This is your body’s response to the stress this particular person or situation causes.
If it’s an interview you’re stressed about, top hiring pros say begin practicing with a friend – pre interview. Have them ask some of the usual questions. On the other hand, if it’s a person you must deal with, begin learning breathing and other relaxation exercises – consider meditation. All of which will allow you to relax before dealing with this situation. Alison Doyle, job search expert for Balance Careers, says “Practice interviewing with a friend or family member, ahead of time, and it will be much easier when you’re in the interview.” Pre-interview practice “will help calm your fears”, says Doyle, “because you won’t be scrambling for an answer when you’re in the interview hot seat”.
Third – Behavioral Changes
Also pay close attention to your behavior and how it might be changing day to day. You may find that you are lashing out at others for questionable reasons; becoming angry at the drop of a hat; procrastinating, for example. You may also be fidgeting or biting your nails -also associated with being stressed out.
Abagail Brenner MD says –
* Take back ownership of yourself. This may involve extricating yourself from a relationship in which you’ve really been a passive participant.
*Create a healthy space between yourself and your relationships….By creating enough room – a kind of ‘psychic space’ between yourself and others allows for enough personal expression while minimizing emotional and psychological entanglement.
* Recognize and acknowledge your own worth.
* Learn to recognize those individuals who have their own agenda. Limit especially your involvement with those who insist you live in their shadow rather than shine on your own.
(full article – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201406/6-ways-take-control )
Lastly – “Determine what are productive and unproductive thoughts when it comes to employment anxiety” says neuropsychologist Brittany LeMonda.
