|In order to protect your property, you put up fences and/or other deterrents to discourage intruders from entering or destroying your land, property and home. Since this practice is used in all cultures, fencing your property is considered a normal way to ensure people don’t damage your property, violate your rights harm you or destroy your home.
That said, if you are willing to protect your physical property by putting up fences, why are you not willing to put up boundaries to protect yourself? Boundaries are invisible fences for your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. If you do not set up boundaries, people can easily infringe on your rights; making you feel disrespected; harming you in a variety of physical and/or mental ways.
Unfortunately, many are clueless about how to set up boundaries and feel setting boundaries makes them an inconsiderate or bad person. This could not be further from the truth. In contrast, setting boundaries allows you to command respect; creates healthier and happier relationships with those around you.
All that said, many find setting boundaries difficult.
For boundary setting to work, you must be willing to inform someone when they have crossed one. In short, you must be strong enough to stand up for yourself and confront another person regarding your boundaries.
Boundaries are imperative to having healthy relationships which are beneficial to both you and the other person. If you do not set and enforce your own, people may not know how to treat you and therefore unable to respect what boundaries you may have. So it’s your responsibility to set and enforce your boundaries.
When you create and enforce boundaries, you draw an invisible line between you and another person. As a result, this allows you to have your own feelings, make your own decisions, and know what you need without trying to please others; allowing you to be your most authentic self.
One of the most important aspects of self-care is valuing and respecting your own needs and feelings. Creating boundaries means putting your needs and emotions above the needs and emotions of someone else – healthily and respectfully.
Whenever you set a boundary, you and the other party involved become explicitly aware of what is expected of each other. As a result, the relationship’s expectations become realistic and come with clear directions. Normally, people behave correctly when they know what is expected of them. So, setting boundaries and providing clear directions creates realistic expectations all parties can respect.
One of the most important reasons you should set boundaries is to protect yourself emotionally and physically. If someone repeatedly oversteps your boundaries – whether emotional or physical – you immediately know that person does not care about you and your feelings.
As a result, you become keenly aware of whom you should let into your life and whom to avoid. Allowing you to protect yourself from uncomfortable or hurtful situations.
Here’s several examples for setting boundaries during an interview:
Most companies have rules about personal questions – what they can ask – what’s legally allowable and what may infringe upon your rights. If you believe or know an illegal question has been asked, you have 3 approaches available to help you set boundaries.
# Offer limited info.
Begin to find your boundaries by asking yourself about your rights. Here are basic rights you should factor into your boundaries:
You can also add your own rights that are unique to yourself and your experiences. It is important to identify your rights and choose why you believe in them. This will allow you to honor your emotions and needs more truthfully. As a result, you will stop wasting time trying to please others and focus on yourself instead.
In addition to your rights, it is important to identify your 10 most important values in life. If you do not know what your values are, you will be unable to act in a way which is respectful to yourself and others. If you need to, you can narrow the 10 most important values down into a smaller batch made of 5 or 3 values.
As you think about your values in life, also think about how and when they are challenged or provoked in any way. Does a co-worker or close friend do or say something which makes you feel uncomfortable regarding your values? If so, it is likely you need to create a boundary about that value specifically.
As you start developing your list of rights and values, begin to pay attention to how you feel when you interact with other people:
# Are there certain scenarios which make you feel uncomfortable?
Paying attention to these instances will inform you of what areas you need to set boundaries in.
From there, you can start setting your own boundaries. It is important to keep in mind that boundaries do not have to be rigid. You may learn through trial and error that certain boundaries are unrealistic or not relevant to your true values and needs. In that case, adjust your boundaries accordingly.